Go where you are pulled

by farnaz

In the process of healing your body and life, I have found its important to go where you are pulled. So here I’m sharing an excerpt from my journey in documented in the book The Alchemy of Healing. If you like what you read here, you will love the full book:

“In the process of listening to my heart, I stopped forcing myself to socialise with friends that did not have my best interests at heart. Until twenty-six, I felt peer pressure to dress up and go to the most popular clubs with my girlfriends, even though I never really had fun. It was an endless waste of energy, money and precious time. While I would never judge someone else who chooses these things, at that stage of my life it was not serving me. I felt I needed something deeper, something more grounding. So I stopped trying so hard to make these relationships work. I allowed life to take care of them for me. If a friendship is going to end because one of us no longer wants to go clubbing, then it’s best it ends sooner rather than later. I started practising yoga early in the morning, and it felt so good. I stopped spending hours and hours shopping and looking for the latest sale. One particular friend could not deal with the changes I was making in my life, and I remember her saying “You’ve done a complete 180 degrees from who you were before” in criticism.

Through the process of allowing, instead of trying, I lost a number of friends who were not in harmony with the newer, happier me. But that was okay. I knew that the people who would remain in my life through this personal transition were the ones I ultimately wanted around. I think I always knew deep inside who these people were, but I hadn’t listened to that inner voice. Instead I followed the status quo and remained in those shallow friendships until it got to the point where I couldn’t deny it any more. The discord in my body was quite strong, although at the time I didn’t realise my emotional turmoil was leading to the aches and pains, the excessive breakouts and unbalanced hormones. I believe there is immense benefit to knowing who in your life is authentic. And as you become more of who you really are, as you listen to your calling more and more, your life will open up to more authentic people. After all, you draw into your life people who are vibrationally in synch with you. As I did one thing that felt good, I’d come across something else that would feel good. In the next few years I started taking art classes which I’d wanted to take since high school. Ever since high school I had stopped myself from following my heart. So finally at twenty-seven I started to understand what it felt like to go where I was being pulled, towards what felt good and really care about my feelings. I began to taste how good it feels to be happy, truly happy. Living a shallow unconscious life was no longer ringing my bell.

So I became even keener to apply Abraham’s teachings. Naturally there was much more than good health I wanted to manifest. We all have many desires in every area of our lives that we want to see fulfilled, and as soon as my body started to recover, I remembered all my other goals. A few months later the happiness came to a screeching halt when seemingly out of nowhere my face would breakout again, or the sharp pains would return. And my hormones were certainly not any more balanced. Of course at the time I thought the recurrence was out of nowhere. But after much trial and error, and paying close attention to how I felt in any moment during the day, I became more sensitive to my emotions and started noticing that any time I had any strong negative thoughts about someone or myself, the next day I’d be limping from hip pain. It was bizarre and took me many months to figure out what was happening. My acne was similar. When I had a mild negative thought about myself or other people, I’d get a visit of pimples the next day. Any time at work my colleagues started gossiping about another colleague, if I joined in I would breakout the next day. I didn’t want to believe it at first. I was in denial. To be honest it seemed a bit absurd, because I’d never heard of other people breaking out after a gossip-fest. The truth is I am not with anyone else all day long to know how their discord expresses itself. I certainly know these people were not the happiest bunch of folks, but I guess neither was I at the time. That’s why I was rendezvousing with them in the first place. They were at my vibrational level.

I initially felt angry at this anomaly I was experiencing. But after it kept recurring over and over again, I couldn’t deny it any longer. When something as bad as cystic acne is on your face, there is no way to deny its presence. And after I noticed the pattern of negative thoughts/ judgement/criticism about others or myself leading to breakouts, the breakouts showing up was a reminder to focus on what I wanted and not give attention to the negativity I’d come across during the day. I must admit I felt pretty discouraged initially because after seeing my good progress, I was faced with an obstacle I didn’t know how to get around. I thought: how am I ever going to heal if even being in the presence of critical people causes me to break out? I then began to worry about breaking out each time someone around me had started a negative conversation about someone else, to the point where I would physically get up and leave the room if I could. One thing I did have control over was my own thoughts, I could decide to focus on seeing the good in people, regardless of what went on around me, and not personally engage in gossip of any sort. I must admit I did go through another victim phase, where I thought: Why me? Why am I not like other people? Others don’t breakout when they gossip. Why can’t I have clear skin like others? But I had no choice other than to accept what I was experiencing, as the more annoyed I became, the more havoc I’d create in my body. I recall Oprah once saying that God speaks to you firstly through a whisper, then a nudge, a hunch, and eventually a brick wall. It really was true, my Source had always told me to follow that better feeling because when I engaged in gossip (or any form of negativity towards others), I didn’t feel good inside. I had just learnt to shut that voice up, and so the signs were becoming more and more obvious. This was my wall, except it felt more like getting run over by a truck on a daily basis. So I made a conscious decision to avoid negative conversations permanently.

Then within a matter of weeks something amazing began to happen. People around me (friends, colleagues, family members) who were most in harmony with the gossip I no longer wanted to be a part of, began to leave my experience one by one. Colleagues left my team for new positions outside the company, those friends became busy and communication was reduced, while my family member’s behaviour started to change. It was amazing. As soon as I decided I no longer wanted that toxic energy in my life, people and circumstances began to change to accommodate my new energy. I didn’t take any physical action, I just decided to cut the gossip and focus on seeing the good in myself and other people. It’s nothing short of amazing to see the way the Universe orchestrates events and scenarios for you, to meet your new desires and emotional state.”

Can you relate?

Have you ever seen the wrong people leave your life as you began to change?

Share your comments below so we can keep the conversation going 🙂

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Rosie December 30, 2018 - 12:03 am

Amazing, I had not realised that fully. How interesting… I wonder how it applies to relationships. Like if I marry my partner and then our vibration changes overtime….seems like it could be a messy situation! I don’t know why I want ot get married to him…I just really like this guy so I guess it doesn’t have to be contracted! It is what it is 🙂

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farnaz January 7, 2019 - 6:31 am

Thanks for your feedback!

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Farhan Rashid May 29, 2019 - 1:35 am

Firstly, I just want to say that I absolutely love your book and am currently rereading it and studying it piecemeal. I love the intention and heart behind it, and I love your style and presentation – reading it makes me feel like I am listening to a friend.

Secondly, I have been playing with the idea of making decisions. I am struggling with it, because whenever I make a decision, it always feels uphill, and I start getting plagued with doubtful thoughts or worries or concerns, and I just start overanalyizing things. For example, today I made the decision that I will definitely get my work done, but it felt angry, and it felt like “work” or a kind of grind. I don’t think that is how the kind of decision you are referring to should feel like.

So how do you make the gentle, downhill kind of decision that you did? The only difference I can see is that I made a decision to accumulate or accomplish, while you made a decision to let something go. So should I reframe my decision to let go of something? Let go of my doubts or hesitations or self-sabotage or whatever else that is impeding my productivity in life?

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farnaz May 31, 2019 - 3:57 am

Hello Farhan, thank you and I’m so pleased my book is helping you!

That’s reasonable at the start I think as you are starting to take steps in the direction of more allowing and less resistance. To me it sounds like you have a lot of resistance to the work so “deciding” to do it only makes you feel worse. If the work is necessary and you must do it, then you need to find a way of changing the way you feel about it. For example your family can’t starve because you don’t want to cook, so it’s important to change how you are perceiving the “work”.

I usually try and find a positive aspect to the work, to make it easier for me to start. Or when the task is so large or complicated it’s overwhelming me, I break it down into smaller more digestible sub-tasks because it feels good to at least finish one task, however small it is. You still feel like you’re making progress in the right direction.
Just remember to be easy about it and kind to yourself. I used to force myself to study, work, spend time with people I didn’t like and it was crippling me.

These days, even when I decide to do something from a place of excitement and passion, I may not have the feeling or momentum to continue it the next week. In my case it’s usually from physical exhaustion, if I don’t sleep well or rest, I lose all excitement about my life. So I quickly make sure I address this by taking time out, cutting technology out and just resting my mind or body. You need to work out what your triggers are.

Re downhill decisions, it’s 100% possible if you pay attention to how you feel. You feel better about downhill decisions, so try to feel each decision and see which feels better to follow. Then go in that direction. You will be surprised to find that later you might actually be excited about decisions you’ve previously made, and didn’t follow through with.

Best of luck!

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Rose N June 3, 2021 - 5:16 pm

This. A million times this.

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Betsy H October 19, 2021 - 5:51 am

I’ve also experienced break outs on my skin when around a negative person and/or I’m afraid he will control me.

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